Are you Playing to Win?

An important question to ask yourself in pursuit of that which you desire, is whether you are playing to win or playing not to lose

One of the most paralyzing mistakes I have made along the way is getting caught up in something called “playing not to lose”. Playing not to lose is when you take all the actions that make you look busy, but really you are running on the hamster wheel and truly getting nowhere.

Playing not to lose, as T.Harv Eker notes, is like playing a game of hockey with six goalies. Playing not to lose is when you refuse to take risks because you do not trust that everything always works out. Playing not to lose is not allowing yourself to open up because you’ve become extremely comfortable in your current situation; even if you know it’s not sustainable.

Playing to win, on the other hand, is playing full out. Playing to win is allowing yourself to take risks, it’s allowing yourself to step into the unknown, it’s allowing yourself to do bold things while carrying a deep sense of knowing that every time you leap, a safety net will appear for you.

I once read a quote that read “it is hard to get an A while you’re scared of getting an F”.

This ties in perfectly to the theme of playing to win vs. playing not to lose. Ask yourself, at the end of the day, “what do I really have to be afraid of?”

The answer is nothing. The ego loves to come up with things be fearful of, reasons why we shouldn’t trust ourselves, reasons why we should avoid any and all potential pain while staying buried within our comfort zones.

As fun as it sounds, it is going to lead to a gnawing feeling of wanting to do more with your life, until you allow the inner voice to come through and do the thing that you really want to be doing.

Make today amazing, do something you wouldn’t normally do, open yourself to new and creative ways of living while trusting that every time you make a leap, you are fully and completely taken care of.

Alignment Club Podcast Episode #9: ‘Playing to Win vs. Playing not to Lose’ is available below:

Make a Powerful Choice to Align in 2020

The life, the career, the partner you want, they come available when you choose to stay open to possibility

As we enter the year of 2020, take a moment to look back on the previous decade. Who did you become? What did you choose to add into your life, or cut out of your life because it no longer served you? What were the highlights, and what would you have done differently if you were given the choice?

Our lives are a result of the thoughts we think and the actions we take. The actions we take are our own personal choices, actions that we are completely responsible for.

We all make choices that we wish we could go back and re-do, but the fun part about life is that there are no do-overs. Everything you are living with right now has been a result of your choices, take a moment to accept that they have been perfect, and that you are exactly where you need to be right now.

Make the choice to spend the next decade living for you

What does it feel like when you look at your current life situation? Does it feel light and fun, or does it feel heavy and stressful? How does work feel to you right now, are you doing something that you truly enjoy doing?

If the answer is no, that is perfect, because you are at least in a place now of knowing what you do not want for yourself. Abraham-Hicks states that knowing what you don’t want is a powerful part of discovering what it is that you do want.

If you aren’t living the life you truly want, then who’s life are you living? Are you staying at a job simply because you receive a bi-weekly pay check, even though it may not be the amount of money you want to be making? Are you staying in a position that pleases everybody but yourself?

Good news: If the people you’re living to please right now don’t support you when you choose to make a change in your life, then it is a reflection of their own judgements, not your flaws.

People that are supposed to be in your life, these people will support you no matter what. These people are the ones that want to see you grow and expand, not shrink back and contract into a smaller version of yourself.

Again, commit to living the next ten years in alignment with the life situation that you truly want for yourself

Life happens fast, nothing is to be taken for granted, time is the most valuable asset we have. Even if you lost all your money today, you can easily make it back. The same cannot be said about time.

Ask yourself, “what do I want the next ten years to look like? Who am I as I enter the year 2030? Where do I live, who are my friends, what does my work look like, how much fun am I having?”

Find this vision, create a plan of action, and love every moment along the way.

Destroying Limiting Beliefs in 2020

What are the beliefs that are standing in the way of what you want?

Oftentimes when we begin to dig for what it is that’s holding us back, we search for the answer outside of ourselves. Aiming for a new career, a new job, a new friend group, a new this or that. While change is necessary in growing, oftentimes we carry the same beliefs to the new situation, which is not a long-term strategy for change.

So, how do we change the belief system that shapes our very existence?

First we must do the hard part, which is finding and acknowledging the beliefs that might be in the way of our successes.

Notice the world “acknowledge”, for when we push against a belief by becoming angry or frustrated about how we have never changed it, or how badly we wish it didn’t exist, the belief will continue to push back and create resistance.

Acknowledgment of a limiting belief is the first step to replacing it with a new, healthy belief system.

Example.

I held onto a belief for a long time that one’s “work” in life must consist of one thing and one thing only, and to expand over multiple industries would be taboo.

Is this true? No. In fact, limiting yourself to one business or occupation is just that: limiting yourself.

Because Bono was known for being the face of the band U2, does that mean that he shouldn’t have an investment fund? Of course not.

Is George Clooney wrong for having his own line of tequila? Also no.

Because Serena Williams is one of the world’s greatest tennis players, does that mean she should be banished from the fashion industry? Another no.

With the belief that we are confined to one type of business, one industry or one line of work, how likely are we to grow and expand into more of what we want to be?

The answer is not very likely.

It took me a long time to acknowledge the fact that this belief existed, but as soon as I did it was as though a veil had been lifted and I was able to see things in a whole new light. Is it totally okay to expand your work across multiple industries?

Of course.

Think for a second about a belief that might be limiting for you in some way. Here are a few examples to get your brain jogging:

  • “Hard work is the only path to success”
  • “I’m not qualified for it”
  • “I don’t know enough”
  • “I could never learn how to do that”
  • “Money is hard to come by”
  • “I am limited to the resources I can see right now”
  • “In order to make a good living, I must be working 40 hours per week”
  • “More hours = More money”
  • “I’m too old”
  • “I’m too young”
  • “People in my family or friend circle wouldn’t approve of me”
  • “Maybe I won’t be loved”
  • “I could never make a living doing something I love”
  • “Getting rich is for those people”

Think, think, think.

The good news? Once you acknowledge and replace the belief, you are moving quickly towards that which you desire.

To replace my limiting belief about having one line of work, I would repeatedly write down the following statement:

“The only limits that exist are those which I have created for myself”

This makes facing some of your beliefs humorous on some level.

In the year upcoming, focus on expanding your thinking and deleting these old, outdated beliefs that no longer serve you.

While you’re here, the latest episode of the Alignment Club Podcast covers this very subject. Make today spectacular: